On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
