U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
