my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
