we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
