I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
