He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
