Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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