I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
