So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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