You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
