You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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