After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
