I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
My bed smells like the plague
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
