ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
