I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Randomize
