I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
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