well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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