I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
