Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
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