how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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