I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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