we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
