white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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