She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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