maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
your like the ambassador to my penis.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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