you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Randomize
