Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I'm passing your future prison.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
