craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Operation Purity has been aborted
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
