could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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