i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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