Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Boobs speak an international language.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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