I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
