Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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