She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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