Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Randomize