I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
