Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
