Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
