What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
im holly from the hills drunk
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
