put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
