I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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