I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
