Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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