We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
My dick has a subreddit
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
