He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
