Pants 0. Shit 1.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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