Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Randomize