went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I'm at about main and main street
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
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