You can't special order awesome
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
