party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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