Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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